Brig spent the rest of the day, contemplating his life, and writing final messages to the ones he’d loved, and who might think of him when he was gone. He tried turning on his phone, but it was out of battery, and somewhere in his travels he had misplaced his charging cable. No matter. Brig had his journal, and he was confident James would see that it made its way to his Father.
To James he wrote:
Yo Jesus Bro – Thanks for letting me borrow your ride. I made it to Rongbuk, no problem. Obviously. You were a good friend, and I wish you all the best. Brig.
PS: Don’t forget which hand you eat with. 😉
PSS: Would you make sure this journal makes it back to my Father? Thanks!
To his father:
Dear Dad. Please forgive me. I sincerely believe you were a far better father than I was a son. Love Brig.
To his sister:
Big Sis – It’s been a wild ride. I wish things would have worked out differently. You’re going to make an excellent President and CEO someday. Have lots of beautiful children and name one after me. 😉 Your little Brother – Brig.
My “ride or die.” The last time we saw each other, we had some harsh words. I hope you know that it was the drugs talking. You were the best friend I ever had, and I consider you my brother. You’ve made an excellent life for yourself, and I’m proud of you. I see nothing but joy, happiness, many children, and a long life ahead of you. Love you man. — The Prophet
Hi Gorgeous! I should hate you, but I can’t. I’m done hating. (Except for Chang. I hate Chang, and I hope he burns in hell for eternity!) I know you never would, but just in case, don’t blame yourself for my death. It may sound stupid, but I’m doing this for me.
I’d like to tell you that you’re a good person, but I’m not sure you are. Besides, one thing you’ve taught me is that good and evil are subjective. If you’re evil, then the woman I loved, the only woman I ever wanted to spend my life with, was evil.
Stay bad! Brig
Lastly, he wrote to Tommy:
Tommy – What a crazy time we had, no? Or was that just another day in the life of the Reluctant Scholar? I hope you’re well. I know that you followed me to Lhasa and then Shigatse, and I hope that nothing has happened to you, but this (suicide) was something I had to do, and I suspected that you would try to stop me. I was/am determined to make Everest my tombstone. I need to finish this.
As I wrote to Happy. I should hate you both. But I don’t. The Ho family has done some awful things to me. But you are forgiven, and soon forgotten. Don’t think my suicide had anything to do with you. Killing myself has been in the works long before I met you. I wish you well. Brig
He closed the book and went to set the alarm on his phone for 6 a.m. when he realized he couldn’t use his phone. He considered asking Pat for a wake-up call but had little faith he could make himself understood, nor could he take one more “Welcome!” Brig laughed at himself when he realized how absurd it was to be setting an alarm for his suicide. Brig decided he wasn’t likely to sleep much, anyway.
“See you soon Mom,” Brig said to the empty room and switched off the light.